And now for something completely different

I'm feeling at a crossroads in my life. Kids are doing...ok. Work is SUPER frustrating. House is mortgaged out beyond capacity (but will be paid off in just under 9 years!) I'm still making payments on everything, but feeling like I'm constantly "robbing Peter to pay Paul". I hate robbing. I just want to make a decent living and tuck a bit of cash away for a rainy day. Like retirement. *sigh*

More and more I get freaked out about what will happen to us financially over the next few years. I could refinance the house and get some breathing room on my payments, but I really want to be done with the mortgages. I seriously have NO clue how I'm going to pay for my kids' college educations. I feel like a failure where my parenting job is concerned.

Lately, my boss had been making me feel "less than adequate" at work too...and of course HU always lets me know how I seemingly don't value our love life as much as he does. I seriously need to win the lottery so I don't have to worry about any of this...guess I need to buy a ticket first though, huh?

I'm seriously thinking that after 17 years in the Credit Union industry, it's time for a change. I've worked my way to up to branch manager...my brother who has no college degree and has not worked for his company as long as I've worked for mine makes more money than I do. I'm glad for him, but honestly, that just sucks. I think it may be time for me to look elsewhere and move on. That scares the shit out of me, but life is too short for me to be this stressed and unhappy. Plus I may be turning into an alchoholic...