So now we're in mid-March...

Things have been better at home.  HU is far more attentive than he's been in a very long time.  It's really nice.  I think he realized just how disconnected I felt and is trying to bring back that connection.  I'm thankful he cares enough to try...

I'm still trying to shut myself off a bit emotionally though, preparing myself for when he's away again.  I can't continue to be "overbearing" about how he's spending his time, or who he's spending it with.  He needs to learn to be more open and share things so that I don't feel out of the loop or "guessing" all the time...

For Christmas last year, I bought him tickets to a Cardinals/Brewers game for July - in Milwaulkee.  A trip I hoped we'd go on together, but it was really more of me trying to plan a trip HE would enjoy.  I also got tickets to the Harley Davidson museum there (it's supposed to be HUGE and phenomenal) and although I have NO interest in going, it COULD be interesting anyway.  SO...I planned this trip for him...for us.  But...now I really want him to go with a "motorcycle" friend instead.  To enjoy his time doing "guy things" with one of his guys is a far better gift that I can give him right now.  And I think I need to do this for me as well.

Don't get me wrong...I LOVE going on trips with him.  We always have a good time and the memories are essential to keeping us connected.  But this is one time I can say, he should do this with one of his friends to get the most out of it.  I bought the tickets for him for Christmas (intended for us) but a better gift would be to give to him to go with a friend.

Things have been SOOOOO crazy at work.  I'm snapping at Mom and Eric and Michelle like crazy, and apologizing just as much.  I don't mean to be crabby...it's just really stressful.  :(  Mom called me at work today to ask if I could do dinner on Sunday night instead of tomorrow for St. Patrick's Day.  I told her it should be fine, but I may have to work...she exclaimed, "WORK?? ON SUNDAY????" to which I snapped, "MOOOOM!  I have SO much to do and it's getting down to the wire here at work!  You KNOW I am working way more than ever right now!  Please don't react that way!" ... /sigh  Yesterday, the Project Manager was in tears completely frustrated with our IT department.  Stuff still isn't done/finalized and we go live with the new system in less than 2 months!  I'm trying to get material ready for next weeks' training sessions and the access to the system has been extremely limited this week.  Credit reports can't be pulled and the systems have been overwritten.  It's been an absolute mess and our IT department is completely incapable of handling the extent of what they need to right now. :(   My "off" time when not training is spent in meeting after meeting.  I had two clear days tomorrow and Friday except for one conference call Friday from 10:30-11:30...I've now got 3 other meetings scheduled and our Chairman of the Board came by asking me to create a bio for a retiring Board member that he wants to acknowledge at the Annual meeting in April on the 7th.  He'd like to have this by the end of the month, by the way...I'm training all next week and 3 of the 5 days the week after.  Guess I'll be working on that this weekend, too now...

All this is why they pay me the big bucks, right?!?!  >.<   LOLOLOL

I hope/pray this conversion goes well come May...