February 14th

I think I'd like to declare this the lame-est day in history. It's supposed to be about your partner, your loved one, your true love. Last year, mine was out with another woman. This year, he went to a hockey game with a friend (a guy and HIS boyfriend). But again...he planned for weeks to go to this game with his friend. He went out ON Valentine's day to try and find me a gift. I do appreciate he was thinking about me, even though it was last minute and admitted he wasn't sure he'd be able to find a gift. Gee, thanks.

He was gone literally all day and came home with a stuffed bear, a bag of M&Ms, a card, and a gift certificate to the spa. Nice gift! :) Just wish he'd put as much thought and planning into something for ME as he does for himself. I don't mean to sound ungrateful, he didn't have to go out and get anything at all. I just feel so...unimportant anymore and like the gift was something he felt he HAD to do, not that he wanted to.

We were supposed to go out with friends for dinner, that got cancelled due to the snow, so I ended up making pork chops at home.

He plans for the family monster truck outing 365 days in advance. He plans his ghosthunting expeditions, events out with his friends. I feel like such an afterthought and I don't know why I can't just accept it.

Right now, I feel really guilty, ungrateful, whiney, and just plain "bitchy" about the whole situation. On the other hand, I feel like I deserve to be worthy of thinking out and planning things for, too.

Gah....I'm really beginning to hate February 14th. :(