I've come to the conclusion that...

That the month of February just seems to always suck.

I seem to always be depressed this time of year and get into a "funk" initiated by HUs need to be selfish.

We had it out today and though I think maybe(?) he gets my frustration and anger about his newly acquired Harley Davidson and the manner in which the sale went down, I just feel like if he had to do it all over again even after our talk, he would.  He says he'll work on things, time will tell.

I am at the point where I feel like we've evolved and changed so much as a couple and not for the better.  He's off doing his thing...I'm left feeling like I should be doing ... something too.   We're just not on the same page about anything.  His circle of friends are his circle of friends.  And though I try to be involved and like them, many are just crude and obnoxious.  Not the kind of folks I want to spend my time with and I don't understand why he does.  Well...I do understand, because he's the same way.  I probably hurt his feelings today when I told him to grow up that he's not a teenage boy living in his mom's house, so stop acting like one when around his buds....but honestly, I'm tired of feeling like I married a boy who refuses to grow up.  Time to be a man - I need a MAN in my life.

I started doing more on my own a bit last year - while I had a good time out doing things more on my own, I was left feeling even more separated emotionally from my husband.  Not how I want things to be.  At all.

He's totally ok with it and thinks life's grand, though.  So...as long as he's happy, right?

I just don't think he'll change, and I can't just shut off my emotions - though it's getting easier to not care like I used to.

Time will tell how things go from here...