Somebody stop me...

I have been out of the house the last two days and have spent $300ish.

I stopped by game stop yesterday to check out used psp and wii games for the kids. Asked the guy, hey, do you happen to have a wii fit? Yep, I have ONE...do you want it? *Impulse buy* YES! So I got the wii fit, the yoga mat and sleeve for the balance board and a recargeable battery pack. $150 later, I walk out without any games for the kids, which is why I went in in the first place! LOL

Today, I went to the spa. Had my first facial ever and it was NIIIICCE! She even gave me an upper body massage with it, which was a nice surprise, I really didn't expect it. Of course when I was done, there were about 5 products she recommended as "ESSENTIAL" to maintaining and repairing my skin. So I bought them. $120 later I am feeling great. (First time in a while)

SO...no more spending for me. Need to get back to business and deal with stuff here. I got a text from HU that simply said "*hugs* Love you :)" which was nice. But again, no phone call on his break or during his lunch. Guess he's too busy sharing the meatloaf he needed me to help him make last night with his FRIENDS. *sigh*

I'm really at a loss. I love him deeply. I'm hurt deeply. Which one wins and takes over as the stronger emotion? I talked a LOT with a friend of mine yesterday (Thank you, btw, you know who you are...I owe you much!) and she really helped me put some perspective on a few things.

A.) He REALLY doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. He REALLY sees this as "just friends" and as such feels I am overreacting about lots of things.
B.) He's not doing any of it to HURT me (though he continues to even though he knows it does...can't figure that one out yet)
C.) As a man, he just doesn't "get it" the way I do

She suggested that I set limits and talk to him. What's acceptable and what isn't. We've tried that, but I'm not above trying again.

HU came home and gave me a kiss hello...I kissed him back briefly. "Is that all I get?" ...Yep. "You don't love me anymore?"... I'm still trying to figure it out. I RATIONALLY and REASONABLY spoke to him yesterday and told him that this "friendship" with this other woman is going too far. I honestly and wholeheartedly don't believe he has interest in her, or intends to persue an intimate relationship with her physically. My issue is the level of intimacy they're attaining together, while our intimacy is crumbling around me. It's so hard to explain really. But seriously, this girl, almost half his age, has NO ONE else to talk to or even WANTS to talk to about her court "drama"?? Why does she feel so connected to HU?? It may be innocent on his part, but I see signs on her part that he's not seeing. He says I have no proof of anything supporting that "theory"....I say her actions are proof enough and I'm not waiting around for PHYSICAL things to happen for proof.

I dunno, I'm overwhelmed everywhere I turn. I don't want to make irrational decisions, but all the signs point to what I believe is going on in my gut. I can't ignore how I feel. If he chooses to ignore how I feel, he'll have made a choice as well. What's that old song by Rush say: "If you choose not to decide, you'll still have made a choice"

I've stated my case, I've told him my fears (rational or irrational I'm still allowed to have feelings), the rest is up to him.