So now what...

So I go to lunch with HU on Monday. He says meet him at Quiznos I say ok. I fully expected him to bring Ashley with him...I was nervous, but agreed to meet him. I get to Quiznos, he calls.

HU: "You're at Quiznos aren't you?"
ME: "Yep"
HU: "I'm at Penn Station"
(*sighs and tries to ignore the pit in my stomach*)
ME: "Guess I'll drive over there"
HU: "Nah, stay there I'm already on my way"

So he gets to Quiznos lot and the "Fish Place" (aka Joey's Seafood) is right next door...the place we used to enjoy going for lunch...the place he took Ashley to recently. He says we can go there instead. I tell him whatever he wants to eat as he's watching his diet and I know he likes fish, etc. He chooses Joeys.

We go in and have a seat, we've lost a LOT of time by now and he has to be back within the hour or he gets an occurrence at work, which is like a warning for being tardy. Too many of those and it can spell trouble.

I TRY to talk to him. He wants to do his overtime (OT) on Saturday. ALL THIS TIME, he has NEVER wanted to work Saturdays. NEVER. So I'm trying to understand...why, when all this is going on, would he WANT to work on Saturday? (My mind, of course, goes directly to: Probably because that's when Ashley works) Why does my mind HAVE to go there??? What's WRONG with me that I can't trust him? MAYBE he wants to use that as an excuse to leave the house for a couple hours then come home and surprise me with something nice! MAYBE it's NOT about him spending time with anyone else.... the voice inside me calls me stupid. I hate that voice. We end up in a big argument when all I was trying to do was understand WHY he's done a 180 and WANTS to go in on Saturday. MY FIRST Saturday off in awhile. It's all too much. *sigh*

Later he apologized for lunch and the argument, but *I* still hurt deeply because I can't even TALK to him anymore. We went to Penn Station yesterday and it was nice.

At least we're having the best sex ever in a long time. Maybe fighting isn't all bad when the make up sex is awesome?

It's also looking more and more like his daughter will be moving back to live with her mom. On the one hand, it's what WE need. On the other, it's dangerous to send her back. Her physical and emotional health is at stake and I really don't want to make this decision. So I'll stand by and let them work it out and support HUs decision in this regard.

I'm really looking forward to the therapy session I have scheduled for tomorrow afternoon...I need to know what's wrong with me.