Ranting

Beware...rant incoming!

I've been feeling like I'm at a major crossroads in my life. Lost, without direction, wondering what I'm supposed to do.

It's funny...my dog, Daisy, is a beagle. She killed two baby bunnies on Sunday. And although I felt bad for the poor defenseless little baby bunnies, I thought to myself, "Gee. I can't get mad at Daisy, it's what she was born to do" Then all of a sudden I wished I had such clear direction as to what I'm supposed to do with my life. My mom said I do have clear direction: Work and Stress. Guess it's better than killing baby bunnies, but not by much...

So I've just really felt like I'm an outsider looking in on my own life and wondering how in the hell I got here, why do I put up with the bullshit that I put up with, and what on earth could possibly be in store for me in the future. I don't know how much more of this I can take after all.

In all of this I can't help but feel ... ungreatful. I mean, I have a family, a home to live in, a decent job that pays well (though not nearly enough!)--more than so many folks can say these days--, and a nice car to get me to that job. I should be thankful for all of this, right? All of this, however comes with a price. The family comes with a pricetag of "insanity"...not so sure I'm willing to pay that much for it anymore... The job comes with a pricetag of "time"...I spend the majority of my life working and for what? The home of course comes with a literal pricetag of "responsibilty" of which no one else seems to want to pitch in on that one, but no one has trouble with reaping the benefits. And the car pricetag just keeps increasing due to gas prices...no "sales" here for sure!

So...I guess I'm like my beagle...sniffing out possibilities for a new/different (better?) life...I hope one day I'll catch my baby bunny.