And I don't have a whole lot to show for it. It's been a whirlwind for sure, but I feel like I've accomplished so little. Not that I set out to make a list of accomplishments to achieve or anything, but I just feel like time's slipping away and life is passing me by.
I cried myself to sleep again last night. Michelle texted me that she had a fabulous time shopping and spending her Christmas money and gift cards, got her ears pierced again, and I just felt...empty. I miss having her around. When she's home she's not even around. I just don't know what else to do to change that either. Eric asked "What's wrong NOW?" and all I could reply to him was: "nothing". I'm a horrible liar too. But he just wouldn't understand, I'm done trying to make him see what I'm going through.
I'm at work now, and should be doing...work. All I feel like doing is crying though, which makes it hard to be upbeat, energized, and inspirational at work. My employees are all "what's in it for me" and not taking responsiblity for their own jobs lately. Price of being under staffed and overworked and I can't do a thing about any of that either.
Deadlines are looming, meetings upcoming, pressure and tension mounting everywhere I turn. The one safe haven I had was home, and now even that's a big ball of stress waiting to crush me like the boulder in that Indiana Jones movie...
I need to make a list of things I want to accomplish in the coming year before the new year hits. I need to do something...inspirational to myself. Something meaningful and worthwhile. Something that makes me happy. I just have no clue what on earth that would be... =/
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