New Year, new me!

Well I started the year off by declaring I wasn't going to take any crap from the folks that are SUPPOSED to love and respect me.

I'm trying to stick to it, but it's just not...me....to be demanding, selfish, and not worrying/caring about anyone else.

I've decided I really can't let things get to me like they have in the past. Especially not Stephanie. I love her like my own daughter, but she drives me to the brink of insanity. And honestly, it's not so much her, as it is the interaction with her and Eric. He gives in to her every whim and it's just frustrating when he should be a parent to her, teaching her right and wrong. Coming down hard on her as he does on my kids. So ... to that end, I won't put up with it anymore. I'm staying out of her discipline, yet not allowing her to rule this house anymore either. It's the only way I'll stay sane. Eric and I got into it, I lost it, and I think now he understands where my breaking point is.

Still working on finances, and hope to have more paid off soon. Can't wait for the W2s so that I can get the taxes done, return in hand, and payoff more crap. I told him (YET AGAIN) that he cannot "buy now, pay later" any more.

Eric's mom is coming in February for a visit and to go to the monster truck show. We had a pretty great visit with her just before Christmas. We cleaned up her kitchen and Eric installed her ceiling fan and a new light fixture on the other side of the kitchen. She was quite pleased with it all I think judging by the emotional outpouring as we headed out on Christmas Eve to come back home.


Same day Eric and I got into my catharsis, my brother told us all he's getting a divorce. 10 years and his daughter's almost 6. Sad, but necessary. That marriage was over 4 years ago at a minimum, but it's still sad, and I am just praying that it'll be a smooth transition for everyone. They're both already "seeing" other people, and it seems quite amicable at the moment...hope it stays that way. My brother will be going along to the monster truck show with his daughter, his new girlfriend, and HER twin daughters. I'm giving up my ticket so she can go with her kids, with him. (what a sacrifice--not!) I was going to go just to spend time with Eric, Steph and his Mom, but I have ZERO desire to be there. I'll go get a pedicure that day instead! :)

Work continues to be a daily struggle for me just to WANT to be there. And I'm supposed to be the driving, motivating factor for the employees. It'll be 19 years that I've been with the Credit Union on March 9th. One more year, and I'll get another week of vacation. I feel like I should do something different with my life, but I have no clue what that would or even could be. I just feel trapped in so many ways in my life and that makes me sad. I should be happy. Happy to have a job, a family, a home, just...happy.

That bein' said, I'm not going to wallow in self-pity, or complain. This year is proving to be a challenge already, but one I'm ready for. The Chamber obligations are gone, time to focus on family and work. (Yes, in that order)

I did receive a HUGE blessing at work on Friday. One of my employees, who was WAY under-achieving in production goals, always coming in late, and just acting as though she didn't care--just going through the motions--was given an opportunity in another department. Her performance was to the point that I was literally going to have to fire her soon. The process of documenting her performance and putting her on an action plan was set to take place, and she got this other job. Now, I'll just note her performance deficiencies and tardiness in her evaluation and she'll move on. She has no idea how lucky she is to have gotten this job. No idea. I like her as a person, so it would have been particularly difficult to do, but guess that's what they pay me the big bucks for, huh??

I'm going to try and update this more regularly so that I can stay focused on positive things and get anything else "off my chest" before it becomes burdensome. Thank you dear blog for giving me this outlet...