Well it's been 4 days with no kids and we've been in good spirits together. We actually worked together to clean up the basement and put a good dent in purging a crapton of JUNK down there.
HU told me he has to work mandatory overtime this week. Conveniently, that will be on Saturday while I'm at work. I need to learn how to re-train my brain to NOT distrust him when he says stuff like this. My mind immediately went to: "great, guess he's going to hang out with folks from work" (Specifically, Ashley who he's not mentioned in quite some time)
He still gets very defensive and I still have some major trust issues. *sigh* It's something I have to change within myself, but I am really struggling to figure out HOW.
Maybe it's that whole self-fulfilling prophesy thing...if I THINK there's problems and issues, I'm CREATING them myself by thinking that way??? Maybe there really ISN'T anything to be mistrustful about. Still, he hurt me...badly. And I'm trying to forgive and move on. Does doubt pass eventually? Will the pain lessen like when a loved one dies...each day getting a bit more bearable?
I am thankful for the time we have together...trying to rebuild what we once had. Just hope we can.
Steph is officially gone. For two years is the plan. While this was NOT the best thing for HER, I DO believe it was the best thing for ME...and for our marriage. I hope she matures some while gone, and I hope her mother will be responsible and provide her stability she needs. If she does, maybe she'll keep custody of her and we can just have visitation, which is, I think, ideal for my entire family. Time will tell....I love her and I do miss her. I don't miss the aggrevation she caused in my home though.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment