Realizations

I've come to the realization that I am a complete enabler. Except when it comes to enabling myself. I can't seem to enable myself to be strong, powerful, or happy.

I enabled my ex husband to bully me in court 6+ years ago. When my daughter was in the 3rd grade, I knew. I knew she was struggling in school, I started filling out a questionnaire form about ADhD relative to my son and recognized signs in my daughter. The day I was supposed to have her tested, my ex had me served at work...claiming I was "denying his parental rights". Because he was (and still is) in denial. Nothing could be wrong with his little girl. His ego continued to stand in the way. The courts appointed a mediater that decided we should go through counselling at school, which led to family therapy, which led to her seeing a psychologist for depression. ALL of this could have been avoided so long ago. Even now he doesn't believe she has ADhD and as of Feb was refusing to give her medication to assist her. NOW we have an official diagnosis from a doctor HE chose. And he still refuses to acknowlege it's part of the problem. Yes, she has learning disabilities...yes, she'll need tutoring and ongoing therapy and maintenance for chronic depression. None of which changes the fact that she has been diagnosed with ADhD. A completely TREATABLE issue.

The realization I have come to: I CANNOT enable him to continue to deny her the treatment that she needs to be successful.

I need to stop being an enabler. Period.